Last week I had a meeting in lovely Marietta, a once-affluent suburb north of Atlanta that is now a land of half abandoned strip malls. Yup, a perfect breeding ground for comic shops. One of these comic shops, ultra-clean and well organized The Great Escape, had the pleasure of having yours truly drop in for a cameo appearance and spend 42 of my hard-earned greenbacks on some funny books.
So sit back, pour yourself a drink and smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.This are those: er, I mean these are them-
Batman And Robin 4 & 5 by Grant Morrison, Philip Tan and some other hacks. DC is to blame.
Hey, wasn’t Frank Quietly supposed to be drawing this? I was shanghaied! I was hoodwinked! I bought these silly billy comic books under false pretense. One of which is that comic books are fun.
I found out about this series from Dean Trippe. In fact, he did me a solid and actually bought me the first issue at Heroes Con back in June telling me how great of a ride this here book was gonna be. I dug it and bought the following issue then kinda forgot about it until the fateful day that I ventured out of the cave I live in to come to this comic shop in Marietta.
So, like, Batman (Bruce Wayne) died or some crap, and Dick Grayson ( Former Robin and Bay City Roller) picks up the cowl and dresses in Bat-drag. What? Who’s the titular Robin then? It’s none other than Batman’s illegitimate son with Ra-Al’s Ghoul’s underage daughter. This is where things get trippy. Batman is light heated and zany and his crime fighting chum, Robin is dark and brooding. Sounds fun, right? WRONG.
I won’t bore you with the plot, after all, it’s almost as muddy as the eye assaulting art. Almost. This is what you need to know. Robin 2 (Jason Todd, who was dead, now better.) is brutally killing criminals with some chick in an ugly mask and some bad dude who eats peoples faces. Really. A bad guy that eats faces. In Batman. Of course no comic is complete without showing dead scantly clad babes too, as is so tastefully done in this comic.
(Can you even tell what’s going on here? Storytelling at it’s finest.)
So, it’s come to this. A character made for children, if you are honest, deals with a villain that eats faces. Shit in your own sandbox, Grant Morrison. If you wanna tell a tale of nihilism and murdered women, make up your own retarded characters. Leave Bats out of it.
Brutal bloodbaths (one of which, Penguin was there for- THE PENGUIN!) heighten the patent absurdity of a costumed crime fighter. Thanks for reminding me why super hero comics are dead.
Strange Tales 1&2 by Various artist and writers published by Marvel Comics.
Now this is more like it! Strange Tales is a totally bonkers book where the good folks at Marvel(snicker) allowed their cash cows, I mean characters, to be drawn and “re-imagined” by some of indie comix brightest stars such as Paul Pope (Inhumans) Johnny Ryan (Punisher) and my personal fave, Pete Bagge (Hulk) in a three issue anthology. Admittedly, the quality of these stories is all over the place, but the artists I mentioned really knocked ‘em out of the park. “Scared Smart”, for example, is the greatest Punisher story I ever read Well, it’s the only Punisher funny I have ever read, not to take it away from Johnny, ‘cos it’s good, dudes.
I have often wondered why they don’t allow these guys to work on the regular monthly series but, after the comic convention this weekend, I now know why. Mainstream comic fans won’t even stink in the direction of “cartoony” books.
Speaking of cartoons:
Mickey Mouse And Friends 296 by Ambrosio & Pastroviccho and some other grease balls. Published by Boom!Kids.
It’s pretty funny how Marvel fans got all wigged out Di$ney buying out Marvel. After all, Disney isn’t as conservative as Marvel when it comes to trying new fresh approaches to their stable of beloved characters. Case in point: this comic.
Mickey Mouse is a wizard apprentice in the quaint village of Miceland (Miceland is named this despite the fact the only mouse around is the nominal character.) Mickey meets up with such Di$ney mainstays as Donald Duck & Goofy. Mickey has come to the great tournament to get his revenge on Peg Leg Pete, who has stolen the magic Crystal from him. Then things happen and stuff. Okay, maybe it doesn’t sound so interesting, but dig the art! Those wacky Europeans sure can draw a cartoon book (and appreciate one!)
(for the love of CARTOONS! Now THAT’S Clear and concise storytelling. Take THAT Phil Tan! )
The Simpsons’ Treehouse Of Horror 15 by a buncha pretentious nitwits
*Guest edited by Sammy Harkham, the award-winning creator of the popular Kramers Ergot anthology, this year’s issue is jam-packed with some of the most idiosyncratic (and weirdest) takes on The Simpsons universe ever.
*So the press release goes.
I don’t know how to say this, but this comic is pretty much terrible. The art is all over the place. Sometimes it’s so “on-model” that it isn’t fun, and sometimes characters look and feel so different than their Springfield counter parts that I feel physically ill. Jeffrey Brown musta modeled his Simpsons on that live action Mexican clip you see everywhere and someone described the Simpsons over the phone to Will Sweeny.
(Jeffrey Brown’s take on The Simpsons.)
I know, I know. I complain about something being too “on model” and too “off-model” in the same fuggin’ review, and I suck. However, it ain’t the art makes this book a drag, it’s tone. Halloween version or not, this book doesn’t capture the essence of The Simpsons what so ever. Stick t’ your own, fellas. Or not, see what I care.
Looks like I won’t be asked to be in Kramers Ergot anytime soon.
The Muppet show Comic Book: Meet The Muppets by Roger Langridge published by Boom!
Roger Langridge can do no wrong.
So, that’s everything that I bought. Feel free to comment on how my reviews suck.
