Bon Voyage, Josh Latta (and Don’t Come Back!!)

   Mine is a tale of pain and sorrow,

    longing and heartache, and betrayal.

    But let me assure you– this, like

   any story worth telling, is all about

   a girl.

Oh, Wait. Silly me. That’s Spider-Man’s story. Mine is a little less realistic.

Well, friends, clients, well-wishers, steady bad-luckers and those of you the accidentally landed here in Lattaland, I’m pulling up the stakes and leavin’ Dodge for Baltimore. That is to say, once I find out what state Baltimore is in. I’ll just head north and no doubt I’ll find it eventually.

You know what, folks? I feel good. I feel really, really good. I’ve never done anything like this, and it’s my time. I lived on the mean streets of the ATL all my life, and it’s high time for change and an adventure.

Sure, it’s exciting, but it hasn’t been easy. I had to leave behind my home, my studio, my pets, my family, my friends, a woman that loved me and, well, basically everything I have ever known. Man, that’s hard, contrary to what anyone thinks.

However, I am not doing this to be alone. Heavens no. I met someone. I met a woman with a face that could launch a thousand ships, and raise a sail or two, if you know what I mean. Erin is just the type you’d shuck it all behind for and travel 600 miles to be with. I don’t think I have ever been surer of anything in my life.

If I may stop with the sap for a second, allow me to give a big fat middle finger salute to all you judgmental old maids, spinsters and shrews. Keep clucking, hens. I am still the cock of the walk. You know who you are.

So along, Atlanta! I shant forget you.

Chapter 2 begins here.

 

No wait.

Here. It begins here.

 

 

 

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About Josh Latta

Mr Josh Latta was born in 1853 to a family of tamed Pleistocenes. he was raised as a small child, entering into adulthood on the eve of his 7th birthday as was the tradition of the day. in 1867 he undertook a course in multi-reptile wrestling ending his career as 'croc-tussler' after an unfortunate shallow-river related accident cut short the life of a young crocodile. moving to rural Sheboigan in the fall of 1872, he made a good living raising fancy roosters and painting murals across the town depicting the various lascivious secrets of the townsfolk. driven out of town in the spring of 1873 he found his way to Utah where he was Flaneur in Residence at the Foundation of Gentlemen and Cultured Guinea Pigs (now the Foundation of Water Fowl and Cultured Guinea Pigs) until a scandal involving twin milkmaids and a churn of cream called for his resignation. Latta entered into the history books in 1899 for his lifesize construction of Monument Valley in matches.

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