Kimber Bat is a witchy woman.
In today’s rotten world filled with busy-bodies, joy-kills and bring-downs, everything must be for everyone always. What happens when you try to make everybody happy? That’s right, NOBODY IS HAPPY. I know I’m not. Halloween is withering on a vine growing out of a cracked sidewalk in an abandoned strip mall in a decaying suburb. I blame the religious jerks, nervous moms and liberals who’s dogma is protecting feelings of mankind. Sure, we still give out candy, but now we do it from our goddamned car trunks in a parking lot where laziness and paranoia are on a collision course hellbent on killing our future generations fun. Denying our children fear will just create useless killbots for our future wars.
Anyway, here’s some pretty amazing illustrations from the greatest Disney attraction in the world, The Haunted Mansion. BOO and Happy Halloween!
One thing there has never been much of a shortage of in this topsy-turvy world is Disney crap. Sure, like, you could go to any store anywhere and be guaranteed to find something with Mickey Mouse or the Little Mermaid emblazoned on it. However, for the hard-core collector like myself, you gotta gotta dig deeper for the more esoteric character’s paraphernalia, and digging deep is what I did. In other words, I need to get off the goddamned Disney Store’s emailing list.
From your pals at Lattaland, don’t blow off any of your fingers and enjoy the country’s independence. Have a happy 4th Of July. I’m pretty sure it’ll be our last.
79 years ago today – June 9, 1934 - Walt Disney via United Artists released The Wise Little Hen, which featured the big screen debut of Donald Duck - one of the most beloved characters in the history of animation and comics. Well, he’s my favorite, anyways.
Best Movies: Killing Them Softly: What a crying shame this movie went over with a thud. From the jarring opening sequence to the hilarious last line. This movie was like heroin to me; totally awesome. Marley: Look, I’m not really a Bob Marley fan, but one cannot deny he lived quite an interesting life. Just think of how good he woulda been if it weren’t for the Jah bullshit.
Best TV Shows: Boardwalk Empire: Proof that TV is better than movies. Comedy Bang Bang: Proof that TV is better than podcasts.
Best Books (non-fiction): The Dark Side Of Disney by Leonard Kinsey. Kinsey gives us all of the tips, tricks, scams, and stories that’d have Walt rolling in his cryogenic grave. I love a good scam, especially at a beloved theme park. Life After Deathby Damien Echols SPOILER ALERT Damien talks about how he killed those kids and got away with it too, dude. Just kidding.
From all of us at Lattaland, thanks to all the brave men, women, rabbits and ducks for keeping this country safe.
Who says Disney cartoons can’t be funny? Well, usually me, but this is a rare exception. From what I’ve heard, Disney kept 1995′s Runaway Brain out of circulation because of its use of an “evil Mickey” and the comedic death of the professor.
Who knows, though. Only Satan, I suppose.
Hahahaha! Greetings boils and ghouls! It’s the most wonderfully godless and depraved time of the year! You know what that means, it’s time to curl up with a infernal black cat and a bowl of unsanctified candy corn, because it’s time for 2012′s clump of creepy cartoons brought to you by your favorite scoundrels in Lattaland.
The first cartoon on the chopping block is from the carefree year of 1929 and is our shuttersome hero Mickey Mouse’s 14th outing. I’d sell my soul to the dark one to animate like Ub Iwerks. You hear me, Satan?
Disney UDF Series 02 – Mickey Mouse – Plane Crazy
Y’know, after seeing the mouse head representing a big, evil corporation all of our lives, it’s easy to lose sight of Mickey Mouse’s appeal. I have been reading those Fantagraphics Floyd Gotterson reprints and seeing that stuff makes you totally get why Mickey took depression era America by a 4-finger storm.
From all of us in Lattaland® to all of you in Jerkwater Town, have a happy 4th Of July…and many more!
Do you know what they are celebrating on this so-called “Easter”?
I don’t like the sound of it.
From all of us in Lattaland, have a hop-hop hoppy Easter and continue on with having a hoppy New Year.
A long, long time ago cartoonist were the toast of the town. They were as popular and twice as dashing as matinee idols, they dined with dignitaries and dipped their pens in different inkwells nightly. Oh, what a time to have been alive! Sure, whooping cough, World Wars, and syphilis were looming around every corner, but it was still the greatest time to have been an American cartoonist.
Flash forward to now. All of us have second jobs, eat at soup kitchens, or are under the tyrannical control of clueless art directors and women execs who resent that cartoon networks show cartoons anyway. O, bygone era. What happened? Where did we go wrong?
Sure, the fall of theatrical cartoons, print, and readers certainly didn’t help, but the blame falls on the shoulders of us, the cartoonist. How, pray tell, do we expect to be treated like the manly men that we are if we don’t look like men? Go to a comic convention or any animation studio… T-shirts and shorts and beards as far as the eye can see. Just because your work environment is ‘laid back’ or your boss is ‘really cool’ does not mean you should come to work in your jammie jam jams. Look, the world will respect us again, when we look like we belong on a bottle of Barbicide.
I know, I know. Before the onslaught of angry emails from slobs comes in to say, “Oh yeah, what about, blah blah blah, he’s famous and he wears sock and sandals!” I get it. Sometimes poorly dressed cartoonists slip through, and by the grace of God make it without fashion sense, but what are we doing talking about him? We are talking about you. I guarantee a lot more people will be doing the same if you dress dapper.
“I don’t worry about clothes; I am too busy making art!” As if the two are mutually-exclusive. All artists should care about clothes. You like color and pattern right? I am telling you, man. Let’s face it, clothes talk with word balloons. You ARE your art.
All hope isn’t lost. Let your old pal Josh give you the ins and outs of cartoonist fashion. While my career is hardly anything to envy, I got a hot girlfriend, so I must know a thing or two about this. Sit down and take it in. You are gonna need all the help you can get, dude.
If all else fails, and you are still confused, just ask yourself, “would uncle Walt approve?” and you’ll always be golden-age and mint like a comic from Steve Geppi’s collection of Donald Duck.
One last quick note, hey, I know everyone dresses like shit now ah’ days, there is no longer a dress code and social standard. I blame the hippies. But remember, we are better than everyone else, we are cartoonist!
Join me next blog post and I will be dispensing hair and make-up tips. Lord knows you ladies need ‘em.
For further reading: the-manly-men-of-disney
This short displays more cynicism than anything else to ever come out of The Magic Kingdom® before or since. I think another reason this cartoon totally excels, I mean, besides the handsome backgrounds and animation, is that it circumvents the obstacle of Donald’s voice.
Also of note, Daisy Duck has never looked sexier. Qu-Quack! I wouldn’t mind throwin’ crumbs in that pond.
Sit back and enjoy, my love.