I first became aware of my anxiety at the age of 12, or more specifically, the first day of junior high at the age of 12. The first thing said to me, as we filed into the cafeteria was, “Out of my way, 7th grade faggot,” and that’s all it took. It was the insult that broke me. I spent the rest of my time without a locker (out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to memorize the locker combination), with fear of being rejected, and with fear of doing something I don’t already know how to do. Pretty much from those formative years and beyond, anxiety has been a ruling factor daily. As I join the rest of America and give in to taking a happy pill for sweet relief, I ask myself, “What IS my problem anyway?” I wasn’t molested, my childhood was fine, is it chemical? I never really examined the effect my diet has on my mental state, and it always consisted of high-fructose, high corn syrup count. Could that play a part on my fragile mental state? Maybe, but I am not giving up my sugary breakfast cereal, or at least not until they stop releasing these delightful and kooky retro designs.
General Mills released two popular series of their mainstays in their retro splendor this year, so it didn’t take long before Quaker Oats got in on that action and released their own throwback cereal with the popular Cap’ n Crunch. Just look at that lettering! My how it jumps out at you. I have always been a fan of the good Cap’n. He is a great cartoon character (Created by Jay Ward’s studio, home of Rocky & Bullwinkle), and he has a great cereal. I can eat Cap’n Crunch every day. In fact, I have eaten most of this cereal already, one angry fist full over the sink at a time.
However, I can’t think of any other cereal that shreds the inside of your mouth and makes you as thirsty as a bowl of Cap’n Crunch, but I can live with that and you can too. I am just saying, plan accordingly.
Also, I should add, I take great offense to Quaker Oats offering “collectible cards” as some sort of prize. Come on, that doesn’t count. I gotta cut them out myself. I don’t have time for all that. I’ll give credit where credit is due though. I do like the framing treatment, and I did learn a lot about Cap’n and his nemesis, Jean LaFoote. ( Cap’n is 4’11 and 102 lbs!)
Nostalgia literally means “the pain from an old wound”. Well, according to Don Draper it does, and while I look ahead to the future and fixing my problems in the easiest fashion possible, I don’t mind looking back if it means we get cool cereal boxes.
A Rabbit In King Arthur’s Food Court: A Rashy Rabbit Adventure is NOW AVAILABLE
Rashy Rabbit no.6 is brought to you by Wide Awake Press.
“The first day of spring was once the time for taking the young virgins into the fields, there in dalliance
to set an example in fertility for nature to follow. Now we just set the clocks an hour ahead and change
the oil in the crankcase.”
Another Spring will be with us anon, and it’ll bring new growth, and, more importantly, a new funnybook from yours truly.
Again, the models and some of the characters names have changed this go-around with Rashy n’ pals. I like to keep the book evolving to fit my personal growth, and/or lack there of. At any rate, get used to the idea of it being ‘cartoony’, because this is a pretty far-out action story. Sorry, dudes. I just can’t do the same emotionally raw stories anymore. I am in therapy for that, now. You guys still with me?
“A Rabbit In King Arthur’s Food Court. A Rashy Rabbit Adventure” is wrapped up and ready for print, and should be available for your acquisition really, really really soon. Yes, really.