Hey, everybody. I’m here to kick ass and chew esoteric character bubble gum logo t-shirts. Wait. I don’t want do either of those things. I remember kicking a kid in the shins once, and I felt bad that whole weekend. Boy, that nostalgia is one hell of an axe wound that always needs filling. You know, with monsters, cartoons, and all that crazy crap. Yeah, that’s the kind of stuff I’m talking about. Y’see,I seem to only have gusto for shit any normal fuckin’ human being grew out of before they learned how to pick up a bic razor. Sure, I get it. Wearing this kinda childish crap is likely contributing to the fact that I’ve never been promoted. I mean, I know a man of my age should be driving his own car, have a mistress and possibly some social status, but my crippling Peter Pan syndrome keeps all at bay. Well for now, at least. Thankfully my friends at Glorp Gum Co.® have met my emotionally crippled desire to dress like a giant toddler all week long. In fact, that’s what I did. I wore nothing but Glorp shirt every day for a week solid and chewed gum to see if I can relive my sentimental attachment to the hottest and smelliest part of the year and you won’t believe what happened. I’ll tell you all about it because I don’t have anything better to do.
Hey, fuck you guys too!
I still have a few of these limited-edition hateful and totally inappropriate t-shirts left over from The Fuck Josh Latta Inauguration-a-thon. Now’s your chance to say ‘fuck you’ to the source. Don’t delay. The supplies are extremely limited and I am already sold out of smalls.
FUCK JOSH LATTA
Hey, fuckers! Have you heard of the “Fuck Josh Latta Challenge”? Probably not, because I just thought of it. And no, the challenge isn’t to actually fuck Josh Latta (although, that might be a fun challenge for another time)! This challenge is to have 30+ orders of the controversial new “Fuck Josh Latta” shirt by January 15th, 2017! If we do, I’ll take everyone’s name who ordered & put ’em in a hat! Then, I’ll say a quick prayer to my Lord & Savior, Jesus H. Christ, draw a name from said hat and that person gets their “Fuck Josh Latta” shirt for FREE (you just have to pay shipping)! I’ll refund the cost of the shirt to you! Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your Nana, tell the world… “Fuck Josh Latta”!
The great part of being wholly apolitical is that you get to do wonderful shirts for gun shops. I’m quite proud of this one.
Scope a peek at this t-shirt I’m workin’ on.
Thanks, Allen Mueller!
Following an accident in which Steve Terebecki crashed the tour van into a science lab where a top-secret rock ray was being developed, he had the ability to turn himself into a car that can fly for some reason. No one aside from his band mates White Denim and their buddy Pockets the sheepdog, know his gas-chugging secret.
Hey, check out this shirt I got in the mail!
Dig it! The shirt is signed to me by Alessio Andolina, the Italian Savate champion.
I also got an unsigned version for bebopping all over town in with style. Thanks Paul, for this ultra fun project and thank you Alessio Andolina for the presents. I do so love getting mail!
So, you guys gettin’ all worked up over the fact that the BJM is coming to your jerkwater town?
You should be, not only will original members Matt Hollywood and Joel Gion will be there, but you can also buy the old-school-stadium-tour-style-tee-shirt I illustrated slash designed for this joyous occasion.
This is the actual lineup, dudes. Rejoice! Rejoice! (l to r: Colin, Ricky, Dan, Anton,Joel, Matt, Rob and Frankie.)
16 March – Los Angeles, CA – Club Nokia (w/ Primal Scream)
17 March – San Francisco, CA – The Fillmore (w/ Primal Scream)
18 March- Sanfrancisco, CA- The Independant
20 March – Portland, OR – Crystal Ballroom
21 March – Seattle, WA – Neumos
22 March – Denver, CO – Ogden Theater
26 March – Minneapolis, MN – Fine Line
27 March – Milwaukee, WI – Turner Hall
28 March – Chicago, IL – Metro
29 March – Cleveland, OH – Grog Shop
30 March – Pittsburgh, PA – Rex Theater
01 April – New York, NY – Terminal 5
02 April – Boston, MA – Paradise
04 April – Philadelphia, PA – Trocadero
06 April – Washington DC – 9:30 Club
07 April – Carrboro, NC – Cats Cradle
08 April – Asheville, NC – Orange Peel
09 April – Nashville, TN – Exit In
10 April – Atlanta, GA – Variety Playhouse
11 April – Memphis, TN – Hi Tones
13 April – Dallas, TX – Granada Theater
14 April – Austin, TX – Emo’s
16 April – Tempe, AZ – Club House
19 April – Indio, CA- Coachella Festival
See ya at all these shows! (Not really, just Atlanta.)
(I must insist you click on Matt and look at his laminated tour pass.Thanks for the pics, GIA!)