Happy Birthday To The Only Person Who Knows How I Feel, Morrissey!


Steven Patrick Morrissey has been described as truculent, devious, nationalistic and intolerant. I’m sorry, but this sounds like a wonderful thing.

Moz’s detractors often ask, ‘How can you listen to that guy? He’s sucha douche, ad nauseum, etc.”

First off, I love it. I like my rock stars to be bigger versions of myself. I wanna listen to the world’s biggest misanthrope. Tolerance is overrated.  Besides, who takes a stand anymore? I like a person with convictions. Hey, Morrissey doesn’t need Jimmy fuckin’ Kimmel and his  duck hunting reality star retards on with him.

Second, who cares? We aren’t hanging out. What do I care what he does in real life. I bet we’d be the best of friends though. We’d prolly do each other’s hair n’ stuff, but that’s besides the point. I truly love him.

For whatever miserable reason, I really connect to Moz’s lyrics and music. It’s funny, the older I get the more I can relate. Well, I guess it’s not that funny. I only thought I knew despair as a teen. Ha!

The thing is, I like people better if they are or were Smiths fans and I like being one.

Happy birthday, ya old crank! There is a place in hell for us.


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About Josh Latta

Mr Josh Latta was born in 1853 to a family of tamed Pleistocenes. he was raised as a small child, entering into adulthood on the eve of his 7th birthday as was the tradition of the day. in 1867 he undertook a course in multi-reptile wrestling ending his career as 'croc-tussler' after an unfortunate shallow-river related accident cut short the life of a young crocodile. moving to rural Sheboigan in the fall of 1872, he made a good living raising fancy roosters and painting murals across the town depicting the various lascivious secrets of the townsfolk. driven out of town in the spring of 1873 he found his way to Utah where he was Flaneur in Residence at the Foundation of Gentlemen and Cultured Guinea Pigs (now the Foundation of Water Fowl and Cultured Guinea Pigs) until a scandal involving twin milkmaids and a churn of cream called for his resignation. Latta entered into the history books in 1899 for his lifesize construction of Monument Valley in matches.