Marvel Heroes Popping Candy W/Lollipop The Review

Posted byJosh Latta

In 1996,  Marvel took all their most popular heroes and made them look metallic. Yes, metallic. Look at the highlights and low-lights in hulks pants. They are metal. Look at the reflection in Spiderman’s bulge. It’s metallic too.  Iron Man? Well, he’s always been metallic,  but he’s even more metallic now.  I guess Marvel went bankrupt in taste and as well as bankrupt in money.

Speaking of taste, let me tell you about Marvel Heroes Popping Candy W/Lollipop.  Hmmm, how do I put this:  Oh yeah, it sucks! First off the complementary lollipop is in shape of a ‘thumbs-up’ hand.  That’s lazy theming, dudes.  Is a Spiderman shaped sucker too much to expect to come out of a Spiderman shaped bag? Apparently so, according to the schlock-misters at  The Royal Candy Company.

Also, what is up with Iron Man being ‘Blue Raspberry’  flavored? I know Iron Man is hot right now, but that spot and flavor should have been reserved for Captain America. I am so angry I am going to intentionally splash the first person I see walking along the side of the road in the rain.  I want you to hurt like I hurt.  PS the candy tastes like soap.


 

 

 

 

Published by Josh Latta

Mr Josh Latta was born in 1853 to a family of tamed Pleistocenes. he was raised as a small child, entering into adulthood on the eve of his 7th birthday as was the tradition of the day. in 1867 he undertook a course in multi-reptile wrestling ending his career as 'croc-tussler' after an unfortunate shallow-river related accident cut short the life of a young crocodile. moving to rural Sheboigan in the fall of 1872, he made a good living raising fancy roosters and painting murals across the town depicting the various lascivious secrets of the townsfolk. driven out of town in the spring of 1873 he found his way to Utah where he was Flaneur in Residence at the Foundation of Gentlemen and Cultured Guinea Pigs (now the Foundation of Water Fowl and Cultured Guinea Pigs) until a scandal involving twin milkmaids and a churn of cream called for his resignation. Latta entered into the history books in 1899 for his lifesize construction of Monument Valley in matches.