My father nary raised a hand to me in anger. He never belittled me or was ever verbally abusive. However, he traumatized me for life by throwing change out of a moving car window after I blew all my ‘allowance’ on bubble gum machine prizes. He, of all people, should have understood the shiny allure of putting change in the slot and not knowing what you will get in return. Maybe I’d get a digital watch, or a googly-eyed monster finger puppet, or maybe I wouldn’t get anything at all. This is the price you pay gambling away your quarters in a vending machine. Y’see, it’s not about the prize, it’s about the thrill of the game.
As you know, I am no longer a child, well, not physically at least. I get my kicks elsewhere in life. However, I can’t seem to pass a set of bubblegum dispensary without stopping and checking out the wares. As you can imagine, I stopped dead in my track when I saw the glorious sight of a machine filled to the brim with ‘eggs’ painted to resemble the heads of Marvel Superheroes. What was inside the eggs, you ask? Why, a super deformed squat version of their respected bodies, of course. The gimmick here is that you open the head and assemble a chibi as the Japanese would say, if they weren’t busy with other stuff.
Now, I don’t walk around with my all currency in quarters so I could only buy two. Thrill of the hunt or not, I am a busy man and I need my toys now and I need all of them, so I bought them all on Ebay later that day. After two weeks of waiting by my mailbox like Charlie Brown does during the month of February, they finally arrived, and these are them.
Iron Man & the Mighty Thor
Oddly enough, Thor is my favorite Marvel character outta the bunch, but my least favorite out of the bunch. I guess his lack of mask made his hard to pull off in this format. Oh well, at least it’s the classic Thor and not the retarded movie version or whatever.
What’s also strange, is that, Iron Man, a character I never cared for is my favorite outta the bunch. Look at him, he’s so darn cute. I love his little frowny puss. He even has little ears n’ stuff.
Wolverine & The Hulk
Wolverine is the best at what he does, bub, and what he does is sits around and looks adorable with his giant head and arm hair. Yup, arm hair. They went above and beyond on the paint application for Ol’ Wolvie.
The Hulk has a pretty nice expression, but I kinda miss the more pug-like small face and bowl cut that the hulk had of yesteryear. I guess I just wasn’t made for these times.
Captain America & The Amazing Spiderman
Chances are, if you send a Marvel Super Big Head vending machine and plop in a dollar in quarters, You’ll get Spiderman too. He seemed to be the most prevalent of the bunch, and for good reason, too. If you wanted one, you’d be happy with Spiderman. Everyone loves Spiderman and you should too.
Did I say Iron Man was my favorite? I actually meant Captain America is my favorite figure. I really love his design. It seems to work really well in super big head format.
Kudos for Tomy and Marvel for entering the already bloated world of superhero merch with something that is refreshingly off model and different. I never, for a moment take it for granted I can buy a Thor figure of any sort now ah’ days, but gimme one with a big head and I am happy. Well, sorta happy. Okay, I am miserable.