I confess, I’m full of unadulterated and unmitigated rage. Sure, I’m polite and open the door for ladies and say ‘please’ and ‘thank-you,’ but I truly am just a big meanie looking for a place to be mean. I can’t risk getting my teeth punched down my throat in a bar fights or crashing my car in a fit of road rage. I’m too old and poor for that crap, but I gotta get my aggression out some way, right? Sure, I could cross-fit or go to therapy, but I find it much better to be sassy on the internet.
I’m pretty sure that Kirk Cameron doesn’t actually read these things, but it’s fun to imagine he does and weeps.